RAV4 4WD 4 cyl

• Automatic transmission
• 100,000 miles

RAV 4 Jerking shift hard shift like a slipping clutch just after 90K maintenance c.100k miles. Dealer says needs "upgraded" ECU($1000) to solve the problem. If not the transmission will need to be replaced ($2500-3000). As original owner since 2003 why were we not told that this problem exists? Toyota knew about the problem and issued a Technical Bulletin to service center but NOT a recall. I called Toyota corp and they took my info and VIN etc.and said they would contact my maint. dealer. I said i wanted Toyota pay for the unit and I would pay the dealer to install. They called me back the next day saying they talked to the dealer and could not find my 2005 Toyota Corolla???? What? After getting a lecture on how my RAV 4 was so far out of warranty and they had no control over recalls and they dont have parts and go to the dealer...I said i don't consider this a warranty problem I consider this a Toyota problem. She said "Well Toyota is not going to help you". I can't believe she said that. I said I would consider that when I buy my next car. (I have 3 Toyota's now). Thank you good bye. I contacted the dealer service supv and he was willing to give me a discount. Being between a rock and a hard place I said go ahead and order. He checked the VIN and could only come up with the same part no. I had already. I asked about the upgrade that was recommended and he couldn't find one. Now I am back to square one. Why was the UPGRADE suggested? Now it is just the ORIGINAL one failed..what is up here? Do I look for a replacement? Do I look for and upgrade? Class action?